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I have been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's overcome several challenges, and I respect her for that. But, she has been constantly caught off guard by people. Her husband left her, and it was a massive blow. A lot of her friends vanished at that point, since they had been drawn to her husband. She was stunned by her. She made greater energy toward our bond, and must have realised better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, quite a few close to her have disappeared and she isn't knowing the cause. The company she worked for turned on her, even though she had been very skilled at her work, she departed unaware of why things shifted.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we have each stepped back from work and are seeing time together, but I am finding my role in our friendship is to listen. I start subjects but she shifts the talk toward her own topics. Politically, she has strong opinions. My effort is to recommend factchecking and different perspectives.

She is planning a vacation to a country I've visited repeatedly and resided in previously. I tried to provide advice, but this was unappreciated. She essentially only wanted validation of her plans. I've just come back from 30 days in that place and she wants to reconnect, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling to act as a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, however, I feel she can grasp the effect of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Right now, my state is distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

One option is to cut and run, however, that approach is rarely a smooth outcome that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to resolution takes courage and willingness from both people.

Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step is to state what typically happens in your conversations. This needs to be based on facts like exactly what occurs. Step two is to express how this makes you feel. There should be no argument on this point. Emotions belong to you, naturally. Finally is to question how the two of you going to change the pattern between you."

Consider she too has her own side, thus requiring you to remain ready to listen to her. A helpful technique is telling to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak while I will listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably effective for promoting understanding.

Key Takeaways

This person may dismiss everything, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a version regarding their experiences they won't abandon since their identity is tied to it being the only thing they've known. This is difficult because there's no clear path with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react defensively then consider on your words. If you never reach a resolution, it provides peace knowing you were open and direct.